break from a paper

two more papers left. im about a third done with the 10 pager. yuck.

so im going to procrastinate a little and blog.

i was on fbook today and looking at people from my past. people from high school, people from past churches, jobs, etc... i really don't hold any hard feelings towards just about anyone from my past. thats a cool realization to come to. there is peace with my past, not that there was ever a ton of disarray or problem with past people.

but i came to another realization: i don't regret my decisions to take a chance on faith and jump into different worlds that may have not made sense. for instance, i chose to leave a strong academic school to go to an easier one in order to pursue more religious and faith-based learning. that was a great growing experience for me personally and even though i may be smarter otherwise, i am a better person for it. and then i looked at my decision to leave my cust. service job and to move out to california and attend seminary/grad school. i have fought with this regret since i left, honestly. i left my friends and a high paying job and security to... move to a bankrupt state, spend tons of money on tuition and rent, and eventually make less than i did in the first place. hardly a lateral move.

at the same time, i am a million times the person for it. i am happier. so much happier. i am stronger. im exactly where i want to be. i work a job that pays under 11 bucks an hour and its the best job i've ever had. i absolutely love working at REI. my research and learning at fuller have been incredible and i've learned so much about the world and gained even more questions in the process. i've met some cool friends, but have secured more permanent friendships. and im prepared better for my future.

i am content. i have no clue what tomorrow holds. maybe i'll work my 10+ dollar an hour job fulltime after graduating...and be happy. whatever happens, i hope i can help people and be content. it looks like that is shaping up to happen.