here we go!
thesis - 20-25 pages
thesis project
spiritual disciplines class: 1 2 pager, 1 10 pager
world art and symbol class: 2 4-5 pagers, 1 10 pager
film class: 8 1 pagers, 1 3 pager, 1 10 page
and here's a little music to celebrate!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
i've decided
to use my blog as a progress report for finishing this darn papers. so many. so here's where we're at as of today:
thesis - 20-25 pages
thesis project
spiritual disciplines class: 1 2 pager, 1 5-10 pager, and 1 10 pager
world art and symbol class: 2 4-5 pagers, 1 10 pager
film class: 8 1 pagers, 1 3 pager, 1 10 page
thesis - 20-25 pages
thesis project
spiritual disciplines class: 1 2 pager, 1 5-10 pager, and 1 10 pager
world art and symbol class: 2 4-5 pagers, 1 10 pager
film class: 8 1 pagers, 1 3 pager, 1 10 page
Friday, April 23, 2010
i wasnt kidding.
i really have a buttload of papers and projects to do. here's the list to prove it.
thesis - 20-25 pages
thesis project
spiritual disciplines class: 2 2 pagers, 1 5-10 pager, and 1 10 pager
world art and symbol class: 2 4-5 pagers, 1 10 pager
film class: 10 1 pagers, 2 2-3 pagers, 1 10 pager
all due by june. so if i sound crabby or stressed, well... i prob am :-)
oh yeah, ps...thats in addition to putting out this album, workin on a film, and working 15-20 hours a week at my job. awesssssome!
thesis - 20-25 pages
thesis project
spiritual disciplines class: 2 2 pagers, 1 5-10 pager, and 1 10 pager
world art and symbol class: 2 4-5 pagers, 1 10 pager
film class: 10 1 pagers, 2 2-3 pagers, 1 10 pager
all due by june. so if i sound crabby or stressed, well... i prob am :-)
oh yeah, ps...thats in addition to putting out this album, workin on a film, and working 15-20 hours a week at my job. awesssssome!
Monday, April 19, 2010
stresssssss
i am not one to be stressed out. ever. it just isn't part of what i let myself be.
however, i just did the math for the rest of the quarter in my grad school. 25 papers, 104+ pages have to be written by June 11th. Actually a few more papers can be added there too. That's ridiculous.
Music may take a temporary back seat.
however, i just did the math for the rest of the quarter in my grad school. 25 papers, 104+ pages have to be written by June 11th. Actually a few more papers can be added there too. That's ridiculous.
Music may take a temporary back seat.
Monday, April 12, 2010
music update
i feel like ive been working so hard on everything lately. school, work, thesis, music, social stuff. its good stuff. really. nothing bad at all. but music has taken a bit more of a backseat. anywho, here's the updated demo list that i'm working with, if you're still paying attention. eta is still early to mid summer hopefully.
you will glow again!
no more tears
hey chicago!
blue and green
my new life
you truly are beautiful
brightness
you sound a lot like summer
heavy
candy hearts
life in color
sarah walker
after the fire
i have a couple more in the hopper and then can start truncating :-) ttyl.
you will glow again!
no more tears
hey chicago!
blue and green
my new life
you truly are beautiful
brightness
you sound a lot like summer
heavy
candy hearts
life in color
sarah walker
after the fire
i have a couple more in the hopper and then can start truncating :-) ttyl.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
paper on sundance movies and healing
so i took a class built around the sundance film festival and had to write a final paper, demonstrating the interrelationships between a biblical concept and 3 of the movies i saw. below is that paper, connecting healing and compassion with happythankyoumoreplease, hesher, and the dry land.
***BEWARE OF SPOILERS***
Matt Cavanaugh
Engaging Independent Films Class Final
Healing, As Demonstrated by Independent Cinema and The Book “Compassion”
The healing process is a universal phenomenon that every human being will have to go through at different points in their life. It frustrates, confuses, hurts, surprises, stretches, and, in many cases, strengthens a person to a new level of character. Healing through a grief-stricken time is a common theme in scripture, as evidenced through multiple verses and passages:
LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.
– Psalm 30:2 (TNIV)
I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before.
– Jeremiah 33:6-7 (TNIV)
Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make them well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
– James 5:14-16 (TNIV)
Likewise, contemporary culture is littered with examples of products and services promising healing, betterment, and improved life. Grief is very often viewed, not as a natural part of growth, but as a state of being that every person must avoid or dash through as quickly as possible. Countless companies advertise their “get better quickly” services in television ads, such as those that promise to deliver retribution and financial success for those who have lost loved ones in job-related accidents (as long as the viewer calls their phone number as soon as possible!). Cinema has jumped onto this bandwagon, as well, as evidenced in countless movies that depict characters going from heartbreak to healed within a very short duration. One example of that can be seen in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, where a guy’s fiancée dumps him, but he is out with another girl within a couple weeks.
However, there are also many examples in cinema that depict grief and healing as a natural, vital process in recovery and sanctification, where grieving is difficult, but beneficial. Three movies from this year’s Sundance Film Festival do an excellent job depicting grief and healing: Hesher, happythankyoumoreplease, and the Dry Land. They demonstrate the different factors of the healing process; factors of assistance, impairment, distraction, etc…
The healing process can be a nebulous and confusing entity. The book Compassion by Donald P. McNeill, Douglas A. Morrison, and Henri Nouwen adds a lot of structure and understanding to such a complicated issue, and helps to clearly relate a biblical version of compassion and healing to the modern world, including cinema.
Compassion
McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen spend much of their time in Compassion focusing on how much God values each and every human being. On page 15, they write, “God wants to know our condition fully and does not want to take away any pain which he himself has not fully tasted. His compassion is anchored in the most intimate solidarity, a solidarity that allows us to say with the psalmist, ‘This is our God, and we are the people he pastures, the flock that he guides.’” Every single person is a valued, treasured child of the God that created the Heavens and the Earth. Therefore, every person ought to be treated as such by every person they encounter. This includes the hurting, the difficult to be around, the handicapped, the diseased, the poor, and the undesirable. Everyone is desirable in God’s eyes and it is imperative that everyone is constantly reminded of that remarkably high sense of worth. The most obvious example of God’s compassion for humankind can be seen in how He came down to Earth and endured immense suffering (17).
At the same time, it must be stated that God does not necessarily desire to cure everyone of everything, but to partake in our sufferings with us so that we can learn and grow from that pain before we fully complete that journey of suffering. Through this process and through witnessing God’s compassion first-hand, we are able to become fuller, stronger people (18). God’s compassion is the motivational impetus for progress and growth. God’s compassion makes it possible to, not only get through a struggle, but to actually benefit from that challenging, painful process.
Compassion was demonstrated through Jesus, on one front, through His willing community and servanthood with the hurting. It is almost entirely necessary for people who are suffering to have someone around them, in order to feel understood and cared for. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen state:
Jesus’ whole life and mission involve accepting powerlessness and revealing in this powerlessness the limitlessness of God’s love. Here we see what compassion means. It is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there. (27)
During the grieving and hurting processes, people want to know that they are not alone. They need to feel understood on some level, but, much more importantly, they need to feel accompanied by someone who cares. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen call this way of servanthood “Our Second Nature” and they believe that all of humankind should set out to make this a natural way of life (30).
Simultaneously, it is necessary for a hurting person to, not just feel not alone, but to feel that they belong somewhere. This can refer to a place or an activity but always must include a community of people, who patiently and compassionately receive each other, and who share commonness. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen state:
Many very generous Christians find themselves increasingly tired and dispirited not so much because the work is hard or the success slight, bu because they feel isolated, unsupported, and left alone. People who say, ‘I wonder if anyone cares what I am doing. I wonder if my superior, my friends at home, or the people who sent me ever think about me, ever pray for me, ever consider me part of their lives,’ are in real spiritual danger. We are able to do so many hard things, tolerate many conflicts, overcome many obstacles, and persevere under many pressures, but when we no longer experience ourselves as part of a caring, supporting, praying community, we quickly lose faith… Without a sense of being sent by a caring community, a compassionate life cannot last long and quickly degenerates into a life marked by numbness and anger (61).
No matter how strong the person may be or how resilient one may be, belonging will always be something required for a healthy process of growth and recovery.
Affirmation is yet another supportive construct in a paradigm of healing. As previously mentioned, every human is valuable in the eyes of God. However, that can be convoluted for a variety a reasons, and that person can forget that. It is incredibly healthy and helpful to have a person interrupt that forgetful time through affirming the hurting and grieving, and, in fact, everyone needs to be reminded of their value regularly. Without affirmation, it is easy for someone going through the healing process to feel burdensome, when, in reality, they are not only valued, but probably edifying people in countless ways. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen also suggest that, when a person is in a low, dark place and they realize they still have the capability of blessing others with their gifts in that time, a shift takes place, whereby they realize their value is not contingent upon confidence or circumstances, but, instead, by a deep, authentic, inherent identity and giftedness (79). In other terms, when a person realizes that they can give back to people, it enhances their sense of belonging and renews a sense of purpose and value.
The third and final part of Compassion focuses on patience as being a core component of healing. This concept applies to everyone, but actually is discussed in this book more in terms of the patience of communities surrounding the grieving and hurting. Grief is ugly and painful. To receive people in distress, it requires patience much of the time. No matter how understanding a person may be, they will always be tested in the discipline of patience to some extent (91). Furthermore, patience is required by the suffering person, as McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen proclaim:
Patience requires us to go beyond the choice between fleeing or fighting. It is the third and most difficult way. It calls for discipline because it goes against the grain of our impulses. Patience involves staying with it, living it through, listening carefully to what presents itself to us here and now. Patience means stopping on the road when someone in pain needs imemediate attention. Patience means overcoming the fear of a controversial subject. It means paying attention to shameful memories and searching for forgiveness without having to forget. It means welcoming sincere criticism and evaluating changing conditions. In short, patience is a willingness to be influenced even when this requires giving up control and entering into unknown territory (93).
Patience is required in order to have the bravery and strength to go into that dark place of suffering and not turn around and run away, as many people may be naturally tempted to do. In order to thoroughly and completely get through pain, people need to find that place, sit in it, familiarize themselves with it, understand it, and get through it versus around it.
Finally, it is necessary for people to celebrate. This is one of the last phases of grieving, but is important. People need to celebrate their journey through difficult circumstances. Celebration differs from affirmation in that it, not only affirms who the person is, but also calls attention to their journey through an uphill battle. It says, “Things are getting better!” and “Look at how far you have come!” It calls attention to the fact that the worst seems to be over (100). It allows for a suffering person to allow himself or herself permission to finally breathe. And it allows for closure to begin taking effect. Closure is vital throughout a period of suffering.
Hesher
Hesher is a sometimes funny, sometimes intensely dramatic, and always crass movie about a father, Paul Forney, and his son, TJ, who are grieving the death of their wife/mom. TJ is a young kid, who is constantly picked on at his school. He receives little support at home from his father, who is traumatized and emotionally paralyzed. However, things change when Hesher, a ne’er-do-well who smokes pot and lives in a van, decides to move into their house uninvited. Hesher’s character is incredibly crass and confusing. Sometimes he sticks up for TJ; other times Hesher is a bane to TJ. Nonetheless, Hesher’s presence in the life of TJ and Paul interrupts the paralysis that has gripped their family for two months, and his presence ends up providing the catalyst for their recovery and healing.
Many of the principles suggested in Compassion are evident in Hesher. TJ feels devalued and alone throughout much of Hesher. No one ever stands up for him or makes him feel a sense of belonging or even value. However, there is a scene where he first meets Natalie Portman’s character, Nicole, where Nicole stands up for TJ against a bully. This is a vast contrast to what TJ is used to and affects him on many levels. He becomes attached to Nicole and acts much more comfortable around her as the movie unfolds; TJ feels understood and safe with Nicole.
Hesher’s character is a dynamic one. On one hand, he impairs TJ’s course of grieving; he picks on him, calls him names, and gets him in trouble with several people. However, on the other hand, Hesher also stands up for TJ, encourages him to get past what is hurting him, and even offers affirmation towards TJ. There is one part where TJ kicks Hesher, because Hesher got TJ in trouble. Instead of being angry, Hesher affirms TJ’s standing up for himself.
Hesher offers many of the same positive and negative moments to TJ’s dad, Paul. He has countless moments of chastising Paul for sitting on the couch all day long. Towards the end of the movie, Hesher is picking on TJ, and largely in response to Hesher’s criticism towards Paul, Paul stands up for TJ. The movie ends with TJ and Paul celebrating the life of their mother/grandmother through pushing her coffin through the streets (in response to her constant offer to go for a walk with them around the block). The ending is offbeat, undoubtedly, but demonstrates a sense of closure, realization, and celebration, suggesting that Paul and TJ were able to move through the grieving process and, in addition, achieve a much stronger father-son bond through that turmoil.
happythankyoumoreplease
happythankyoumoreplease is one of the rare optimistic films that premiered at Sundance. In the midst of dark films loaded with death, extreme pain, and pessimism, happythankyoumoreplease was a breath of fresh air for an emotionally fatigued Sundance audience. In New York City, three different love stories unfold: one with a struggling editor, Sam, and a waitress, Mississippi; one with a young couple, Charlie and Mary Catherine, who are fearful of commitment; and, finally, one between Annie, a woman who has alopecia and struggles with confidence, and Sam #2, a nerdy office person who loves Annie. This movie is filled with compassion and love. It is very obvious that the characters in it love each other, through their words and the selfless deeds they do for each other. But the easiest part to highlight regarding grief and healing is the story between Sam #2 and Annie.
Annie suffers from alopecia, an autoimmune disease that leaves her incapable of growing hair on her body. She feels alone and ugly, because of this condition, and makes destructive decisions in response to her lack of confidence, including briefly rekindling a hurtful relationship from her past. Sam #2, on the other hand, is a geeky lawyer, who works in the same building as Annie. He loves her and admires her, but she refuses to accept his love for the majority of the movie. In one scene, she is weeping, but, when Sam #2 tries to be compassionate and helpful by asking her what is wrong, she meets this request with animosity and refuses to talk about it. In another scene, Sam #2 is taking pictures around the office and asks her to pose; predictably, she refuses to pose, but he takes these photos anyways. When Annie feels like she is at her breaking point, she arrives at her cubicle to find the pictures Sam #2 took of her, and they are funny and depict her as being incredibly beautiful. Finally, towards the end of the movie, Annie allows Sam #2 to take her out to dinner. At dinner, she mentions how ugly she feels and Sam #2 pours his heart out to her, showering her with praise and affirmation, on a beautiful level that left the majority of the Sundance audience choked up. Not only does Sam #2 want Annie to realize that he loves her – he wants her to love herself and to see herself as beautiful and worthwhile.
Annie’s biggest struggle is with feeling valued. She has some helpful community around her, but there isn’t a strong sense of empathy or even understanding towards what she goes through on a daily basis with her alopecia. Sam #2 offers her the patience that Compassion says is necessary for healing; he gives her time and understanding. He also offers her empathy, through his declaration that he doesn’t fit into normal society either, due to his nerdiness. In return, Annie warms up to him and is eventually able to begin receiving the words that Sam #2 has to offer her. On top of that, Sam #2 celebrates Annie’s beauty and character growth with her through his affirmation of her. Annie realizes that she has met a person that seems to understand a lot of what she is going through and who desires to understand her more – and he will find her beautiful, no matter how she views herself.
The Dry Land
The Dry Land is a movie about an American solider who returns from Iraq to find himself afflicted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). James is a person who has devoted multiple years of serving his country through the armed services. He is excited to be reunited with his wife, Sarah, his best friend, Michael, and his mother, among many others. However, it doesn’t take long for James to realize something is different about himself and his past life; he feels disconnected and struggles with nightmares, tantrums, and flashbacks. He finds solace in taking a trip with his former squadron friends, who are going through similar struggles. James finds himself best able to connect with those former brothers-in-arms, and has trouble connecting with his family and peers. He seeks help through a few different means, but nothing seems to help. At the climax of the movie, the final scene, James contemplates suicide, but is able to decide against that, based upon receiving a sense of empathy from his dog, as well as his loving and very understanding wife. The Dry Land is a movie that projects a sense of grieving that is hard for its audience to shake, but, at the same time, creates a very realistic empathy for the main character, James.
The most obvious correlations that can be drawn between Compassion and the Dry Land are through James’ community. His friend Michael, his wife Sarah, and his mother love him, in spite of his painful and disruptive psychosis. He physically attacks James and Sarah at different points through the movie, but they still embody understanding and love, even if they are unable to be around him. Furthermore, James’ mother proclaims her love for him, telling him that she will love him, despite what he may have done to other people in the war. She makes it clear that her love for him is not contingent upon his actions or shortcomings, but because of his inherent value to her. His mother doesn’t even understand what James has gone through, but her proclamation of love and patience to him is enough to sustain him in some ways. This is a major point that should not be overlooked or ignored.
James also experiences healing through his interactions with Henry and Ray, two people who served alongside him in Iraq. They, both, are also experiencing similar symptoms of grief and pain. Through their mutual grief, the three vets are able to share the truest form of empathy possible; something that James is not able to receive from his family and friends back in Texas.
The movie ends on a somber but realistic note. James comes to the realization that he is broken and needs a lot of help getting past his trauma from the warm. At the same time, he also learns to accept the support and love people around him were trying to offer all along – the love that, like Annie in happythankyoumoreplease, he had been unable to accept, prior. The Dry Land ends at a point in the middle of James’ grieving process, which leaves the viewer feeling like thing are unresolved on one hand but that there is progress and reason for optimism on the other hand.
Conclusion
These three films are “secular” and not being viewed as “religious” or “Christian.” At the same time, similar to the Detweiler and Crouch books that we have read this quarter, it can be said that these movies do, in fact, have spiritual significance and do convey God’s Will in some ways. Our world is hurting in so many ways and, as Christians who are trying to engage with the rest of the world, we ought to be excited at any opportunity to proclaim the Gospel to culture in such a way that they may understand better.
In our project outline, we were instructed to suggest some way to implement the concept of this paper into some sort of practice. I think it would be a wonderful thing to begin a healing ministry that uses film and media to help people along. The healing and support groups I have been a part of usually use honest dialogue and scripture as the catalyst for their healing. However, there is something special and empathetic about seeing parts of our own story demonstrated through the arts, especially motion pictures, and I believe that can create a pathway to healing for people who may not engage in dialogue as easily as some other people. Furthermore, a ministry or group such as that would break down that barrier of “secular” and “Christian.” It would help people understand that God can work through everything for His purpose, and would ultimately bring healing and clarity to many people who need it.
***BEWARE OF SPOILERS***
Matt Cavanaugh
Engaging Independent Films Class Final
Healing, As Demonstrated by Independent Cinema and The Book “Compassion”
The healing process is a universal phenomenon that every human being will have to go through at different points in their life. It frustrates, confuses, hurts, surprises, stretches, and, in many cases, strengthens a person to a new level of character. Healing through a grief-stricken time is a common theme in scripture, as evidenced through multiple verses and passages:
LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.
– Psalm 30:2 (TNIV)
I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before.
– Jeremiah 33:6-7 (TNIV)
Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make them well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
– James 5:14-16 (TNIV)
Likewise, contemporary culture is littered with examples of products and services promising healing, betterment, and improved life. Grief is very often viewed, not as a natural part of growth, but as a state of being that every person must avoid or dash through as quickly as possible. Countless companies advertise their “get better quickly” services in television ads, such as those that promise to deliver retribution and financial success for those who have lost loved ones in job-related accidents (as long as the viewer calls their phone number as soon as possible!). Cinema has jumped onto this bandwagon, as well, as evidenced in countless movies that depict characters going from heartbreak to healed within a very short duration. One example of that can be seen in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, where a guy’s fiancée dumps him, but he is out with another girl within a couple weeks.
However, there are also many examples in cinema that depict grief and healing as a natural, vital process in recovery and sanctification, where grieving is difficult, but beneficial. Three movies from this year’s Sundance Film Festival do an excellent job depicting grief and healing: Hesher, happythankyoumoreplease, and the Dry Land. They demonstrate the different factors of the healing process; factors of assistance, impairment, distraction, etc…
The healing process can be a nebulous and confusing entity. The book Compassion by Donald P. McNeill, Douglas A. Morrison, and Henri Nouwen adds a lot of structure and understanding to such a complicated issue, and helps to clearly relate a biblical version of compassion and healing to the modern world, including cinema.
Compassion
McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen spend much of their time in Compassion focusing on how much God values each and every human being. On page 15, they write, “God wants to know our condition fully and does not want to take away any pain which he himself has not fully tasted. His compassion is anchored in the most intimate solidarity, a solidarity that allows us to say with the psalmist, ‘This is our God, and we are the people he pastures, the flock that he guides.’” Every single person is a valued, treasured child of the God that created the Heavens and the Earth. Therefore, every person ought to be treated as such by every person they encounter. This includes the hurting, the difficult to be around, the handicapped, the diseased, the poor, and the undesirable. Everyone is desirable in God’s eyes and it is imperative that everyone is constantly reminded of that remarkably high sense of worth. The most obvious example of God’s compassion for humankind can be seen in how He came down to Earth and endured immense suffering (17).
At the same time, it must be stated that God does not necessarily desire to cure everyone of everything, but to partake in our sufferings with us so that we can learn and grow from that pain before we fully complete that journey of suffering. Through this process and through witnessing God’s compassion first-hand, we are able to become fuller, stronger people (18). God’s compassion is the motivational impetus for progress and growth. God’s compassion makes it possible to, not only get through a struggle, but to actually benefit from that challenging, painful process.
Compassion was demonstrated through Jesus, on one front, through His willing community and servanthood with the hurting. It is almost entirely necessary for people who are suffering to have someone around them, in order to feel understood and cared for. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen state:
Jesus’ whole life and mission involve accepting powerlessness and revealing in this powerlessness the limitlessness of God’s love. Here we see what compassion means. It is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there. (27)
During the grieving and hurting processes, people want to know that they are not alone. They need to feel understood on some level, but, much more importantly, they need to feel accompanied by someone who cares. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen call this way of servanthood “Our Second Nature” and they believe that all of humankind should set out to make this a natural way of life (30).
Simultaneously, it is necessary for a hurting person to, not just feel not alone, but to feel that they belong somewhere. This can refer to a place or an activity but always must include a community of people, who patiently and compassionately receive each other, and who share commonness. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen state:
Many very generous Christians find themselves increasingly tired and dispirited not so much because the work is hard or the success slight, bu because they feel isolated, unsupported, and left alone. People who say, ‘I wonder if anyone cares what I am doing. I wonder if my superior, my friends at home, or the people who sent me ever think about me, ever pray for me, ever consider me part of their lives,’ are in real spiritual danger. We are able to do so many hard things, tolerate many conflicts, overcome many obstacles, and persevere under many pressures, but when we no longer experience ourselves as part of a caring, supporting, praying community, we quickly lose faith… Without a sense of being sent by a caring community, a compassionate life cannot last long and quickly degenerates into a life marked by numbness and anger (61).
No matter how strong the person may be or how resilient one may be, belonging will always be something required for a healthy process of growth and recovery.
Affirmation is yet another supportive construct in a paradigm of healing. As previously mentioned, every human is valuable in the eyes of God. However, that can be convoluted for a variety a reasons, and that person can forget that. It is incredibly healthy and helpful to have a person interrupt that forgetful time through affirming the hurting and grieving, and, in fact, everyone needs to be reminded of their value regularly. Without affirmation, it is easy for someone going through the healing process to feel burdensome, when, in reality, they are not only valued, but probably edifying people in countless ways. McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen also suggest that, when a person is in a low, dark place and they realize they still have the capability of blessing others with their gifts in that time, a shift takes place, whereby they realize their value is not contingent upon confidence or circumstances, but, instead, by a deep, authentic, inherent identity and giftedness (79). In other terms, when a person realizes that they can give back to people, it enhances their sense of belonging and renews a sense of purpose and value.
The third and final part of Compassion focuses on patience as being a core component of healing. This concept applies to everyone, but actually is discussed in this book more in terms of the patience of communities surrounding the grieving and hurting. Grief is ugly and painful. To receive people in distress, it requires patience much of the time. No matter how understanding a person may be, they will always be tested in the discipline of patience to some extent (91). Furthermore, patience is required by the suffering person, as McNeill, Morrison, and Nouwen proclaim:
Patience requires us to go beyond the choice between fleeing or fighting. It is the third and most difficult way. It calls for discipline because it goes against the grain of our impulses. Patience involves staying with it, living it through, listening carefully to what presents itself to us here and now. Patience means stopping on the road when someone in pain needs imemediate attention. Patience means overcoming the fear of a controversial subject. It means paying attention to shameful memories and searching for forgiveness without having to forget. It means welcoming sincere criticism and evaluating changing conditions. In short, patience is a willingness to be influenced even when this requires giving up control and entering into unknown territory (93).
Patience is required in order to have the bravery and strength to go into that dark place of suffering and not turn around and run away, as many people may be naturally tempted to do. In order to thoroughly and completely get through pain, people need to find that place, sit in it, familiarize themselves with it, understand it, and get through it versus around it.
Finally, it is necessary for people to celebrate. This is one of the last phases of grieving, but is important. People need to celebrate their journey through difficult circumstances. Celebration differs from affirmation in that it, not only affirms who the person is, but also calls attention to their journey through an uphill battle. It says, “Things are getting better!” and “Look at how far you have come!” It calls attention to the fact that the worst seems to be over (100). It allows for a suffering person to allow himself or herself permission to finally breathe. And it allows for closure to begin taking effect. Closure is vital throughout a period of suffering.
Hesher
Hesher is a sometimes funny, sometimes intensely dramatic, and always crass movie about a father, Paul Forney, and his son, TJ, who are grieving the death of their wife/mom. TJ is a young kid, who is constantly picked on at his school. He receives little support at home from his father, who is traumatized and emotionally paralyzed. However, things change when Hesher, a ne’er-do-well who smokes pot and lives in a van, decides to move into their house uninvited. Hesher’s character is incredibly crass and confusing. Sometimes he sticks up for TJ; other times Hesher is a bane to TJ. Nonetheless, Hesher’s presence in the life of TJ and Paul interrupts the paralysis that has gripped their family for two months, and his presence ends up providing the catalyst for their recovery and healing.
Many of the principles suggested in Compassion are evident in Hesher. TJ feels devalued and alone throughout much of Hesher. No one ever stands up for him or makes him feel a sense of belonging or even value. However, there is a scene where he first meets Natalie Portman’s character, Nicole, where Nicole stands up for TJ against a bully. This is a vast contrast to what TJ is used to and affects him on many levels. He becomes attached to Nicole and acts much more comfortable around her as the movie unfolds; TJ feels understood and safe with Nicole.
Hesher’s character is a dynamic one. On one hand, he impairs TJ’s course of grieving; he picks on him, calls him names, and gets him in trouble with several people. However, on the other hand, Hesher also stands up for TJ, encourages him to get past what is hurting him, and even offers affirmation towards TJ. There is one part where TJ kicks Hesher, because Hesher got TJ in trouble. Instead of being angry, Hesher affirms TJ’s standing up for himself.
Hesher offers many of the same positive and negative moments to TJ’s dad, Paul. He has countless moments of chastising Paul for sitting on the couch all day long. Towards the end of the movie, Hesher is picking on TJ, and largely in response to Hesher’s criticism towards Paul, Paul stands up for TJ. The movie ends with TJ and Paul celebrating the life of their mother/grandmother through pushing her coffin through the streets (in response to her constant offer to go for a walk with them around the block). The ending is offbeat, undoubtedly, but demonstrates a sense of closure, realization, and celebration, suggesting that Paul and TJ were able to move through the grieving process and, in addition, achieve a much stronger father-son bond through that turmoil.
happythankyoumoreplease
happythankyoumoreplease is one of the rare optimistic films that premiered at Sundance. In the midst of dark films loaded with death, extreme pain, and pessimism, happythankyoumoreplease was a breath of fresh air for an emotionally fatigued Sundance audience. In New York City, three different love stories unfold: one with a struggling editor, Sam, and a waitress, Mississippi; one with a young couple, Charlie and Mary Catherine, who are fearful of commitment; and, finally, one between Annie, a woman who has alopecia and struggles with confidence, and Sam #2, a nerdy office person who loves Annie. This movie is filled with compassion and love. It is very obvious that the characters in it love each other, through their words and the selfless deeds they do for each other. But the easiest part to highlight regarding grief and healing is the story between Sam #2 and Annie.
Annie suffers from alopecia, an autoimmune disease that leaves her incapable of growing hair on her body. She feels alone and ugly, because of this condition, and makes destructive decisions in response to her lack of confidence, including briefly rekindling a hurtful relationship from her past. Sam #2, on the other hand, is a geeky lawyer, who works in the same building as Annie. He loves her and admires her, but she refuses to accept his love for the majority of the movie. In one scene, she is weeping, but, when Sam #2 tries to be compassionate and helpful by asking her what is wrong, she meets this request with animosity and refuses to talk about it. In another scene, Sam #2 is taking pictures around the office and asks her to pose; predictably, she refuses to pose, but he takes these photos anyways. When Annie feels like she is at her breaking point, she arrives at her cubicle to find the pictures Sam #2 took of her, and they are funny and depict her as being incredibly beautiful. Finally, towards the end of the movie, Annie allows Sam #2 to take her out to dinner. At dinner, she mentions how ugly she feels and Sam #2 pours his heart out to her, showering her with praise and affirmation, on a beautiful level that left the majority of the Sundance audience choked up. Not only does Sam #2 want Annie to realize that he loves her – he wants her to love herself and to see herself as beautiful and worthwhile.
Annie’s biggest struggle is with feeling valued. She has some helpful community around her, but there isn’t a strong sense of empathy or even understanding towards what she goes through on a daily basis with her alopecia. Sam #2 offers her the patience that Compassion says is necessary for healing; he gives her time and understanding. He also offers her empathy, through his declaration that he doesn’t fit into normal society either, due to his nerdiness. In return, Annie warms up to him and is eventually able to begin receiving the words that Sam #2 has to offer her. On top of that, Sam #2 celebrates Annie’s beauty and character growth with her through his affirmation of her. Annie realizes that she has met a person that seems to understand a lot of what she is going through and who desires to understand her more – and he will find her beautiful, no matter how she views herself.
The Dry Land
The Dry Land is a movie about an American solider who returns from Iraq to find himself afflicted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). James is a person who has devoted multiple years of serving his country through the armed services. He is excited to be reunited with his wife, Sarah, his best friend, Michael, and his mother, among many others. However, it doesn’t take long for James to realize something is different about himself and his past life; he feels disconnected and struggles with nightmares, tantrums, and flashbacks. He finds solace in taking a trip with his former squadron friends, who are going through similar struggles. James finds himself best able to connect with those former brothers-in-arms, and has trouble connecting with his family and peers. He seeks help through a few different means, but nothing seems to help. At the climax of the movie, the final scene, James contemplates suicide, but is able to decide against that, based upon receiving a sense of empathy from his dog, as well as his loving and very understanding wife. The Dry Land is a movie that projects a sense of grieving that is hard for its audience to shake, but, at the same time, creates a very realistic empathy for the main character, James.
The most obvious correlations that can be drawn between Compassion and the Dry Land are through James’ community. His friend Michael, his wife Sarah, and his mother love him, in spite of his painful and disruptive psychosis. He physically attacks James and Sarah at different points through the movie, but they still embody understanding and love, even if they are unable to be around him. Furthermore, James’ mother proclaims her love for him, telling him that she will love him, despite what he may have done to other people in the war. She makes it clear that her love for him is not contingent upon his actions or shortcomings, but because of his inherent value to her. His mother doesn’t even understand what James has gone through, but her proclamation of love and patience to him is enough to sustain him in some ways. This is a major point that should not be overlooked or ignored.
James also experiences healing through his interactions with Henry and Ray, two people who served alongside him in Iraq. They, both, are also experiencing similar symptoms of grief and pain. Through their mutual grief, the three vets are able to share the truest form of empathy possible; something that James is not able to receive from his family and friends back in Texas.
The movie ends on a somber but realistic note. James comes to the realization that he is broken and needs a lot of help getting past his trauma from the warm. At the same time, he also learns to accept the support and love people around him were trying to offer all along – the love that, like Annie in happythankyoumoreplease, he had been unable to accept, prior. The Dry Land ends at a point in the middle of James’ grieving process, which leaves the viewer feeling like thing are unresolved on one hand but that there is progress and reason for optimism on the other hand.
Conclusion
These three films are “secular” and not being viewed as “religious” or “Christian.” At the same time, similar to the Detweiler and Crouch books that we have read this quarter, it can be said that these movies do, in fact, have spiritual significance and do convey God’s Will in some ways. Our world is hurting in so many ways and, as Christians who are trying to engage with the rest of the world, we ought to be excited at any opportunity to proclaim the Gospel to culture in such a way that they may understand better.
In our project outline, we were instructed to suggest some way to implement the concept of this paper into some sort of practice. I think it would be a wonderful thing to begin a healing ministry that uses film and media to help people along. The healing and support groups I have been a part of usually use honest dialogue and scripture as the catalyst for their healing. However, there is something special and empathetic about seeing parts of our own story demonstrated through the arts, especially motion pictures, and I believe that can create a pathway to healing for people who may not engage in dialogue as easily as some other people. Furthermore, a ministry or group such as that would break down that barrier of “secular” and “Christian.” It would help people understand that God can work through everything for His purpose, and would ultimately bring healing and clarity to many people who need it.
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