recording

i've been recording tons.

the sound is way different. lots of electronic beats, dance type stuff almost, with only electric guitar (no acoustic). the tentative track list of songs so far:

september

heavy

82 + sunny

13

moving on

its cool to be back up and running with music again.

freakin awesome dance song

so embedding has been disabled...but check this out. it makes me move.

FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE - DRUMMING SONG

something funny for once

i've been so dang serious on here lately. so i decided to post something funny. actually i can't figure out images on blogger so here is a link to my facebook story. i figure any readers on here are my fbook friends. enjoy.

my dirt recycling story

music

i feel so inspired to write music right now. like...its just welling up inside me. and i think i am becoming a much better musician too. thing is... no time. between working too much, church, taking a full load of classes, working out too much, doctor appointments, etc... it is SO hard to find time to write music. :-( hopefully i can start that up soon.

in fact, lately, i feel like i'm figuring a lot out.

* i feel like i'm relearning what it means to live, to interact with people, and to engage with the society around me.

* i feel more confident in my own skin. i have so many dang body issues and insecurities that i fight through. however, last week i realized that i'm actually becoming really well conditioned and fairly strong. all of a sudden, i have biceps, i can see my abs, veins are making themselves known in my arms, and my quads are much more pronounced. when did this happen? this is really cool. i wouldn't say i'm super confident but i noticed that and, well... all i've ever done is punish myself for my physicality. for once, i feel like i'm not ugly enough to make babies cry.

* i feel like i'm learning how to believe that people around me might actually love me and might desire my trust. not everyone... but there are at least a few. again, this is major for me. i struggle with trusting because so many people i've trusted have hurt me, left me, or used me. but i'm relearning how to trust and to accept the fact that i may actually have some qualities that people appreciate; i might actually have value in other peoples' eyes.

nothing in my life is perfect. i wouldn't even say its close to good necessarily. however, it is improved from where i was yesterday, a week ago, a month ago. somehow things are changing and life feels almost worth living.

real life heroes

for some reason in this world, there just aren't a lot of known real life heroes who are doing extraordinary things, outside of their daily routines. note: this is parents, police men, etc... aside.

however, one of my real life heroes has once again shown his extraordinary commitment to God and the world is so much better for it.

tim hoekstra was the chaplain at my college for the final 2 years i attended trinity. he provided an amazing example of commitment to the Kingdom of God - in the midst of resistant powers. Tim's heart was/is highly motivated towards racial reconciliation. At a mostly dutch college...well...you can understand why having a black or hispanic speaker would ruffle feathers. actually, no, you probably can't and i can't and tim certainly couldn't... but he made sure that the fallen subset of morale and rules around that campus was challenged constantly. he left that position in 2007.

onto today... tim has been hard at work, as a pastor (unpaid), as a missionary, and as an advocate. today, tim ran 50 miles, at 50 years old, and managed to raise about $50k to help with the water crisis in africa and to work with inner city youth in Chicago. let me repeat that. tim ran 50 miles. he started at 1:30am... he was escorted by police to the beginning of the chicago marathon (after 23.8 miles) and ran the marathon (26.2).

if that isn't a superhero, i don't know what is. tim is a hero to me and has been the best mentor a person could ever ask for.

http://www.firstgiving.com/timhoekstra50miler

randomness

so here's some random going on's in my life.


1. bought the new relient k cd today. that's right. that relient k. it's actually really beautiful. it's all about how matt thiessen's fiance left him. but its beautiful. check it.

2. i'm working lots, especially coming up... tomorrow through thursday, straight. like 30 hours. couple that with church, 3 classes, doctor appt's and exercise. super busy. after next week i hope things open up a bit.

3. i got my masters project preliminarily approved! this is so exciting! i'm going to work on a video/song about how the whole world is spiritual if we can open our eyes to see it. i'm way stoked.

4. i'm probably going to the sundance movie festival this january!

5. i'm getting better and better at rock climbing! this might sound insignificant to you, the reader, but to me it feels great.

6. i'm still feeling pretty good. i've had a few things bring me down the last couple days but i'm doing my best to stay afloat.

7. seriously, this relient k cd rules.

everything has changed

im not sure why but things feel different. some type of switch flipped. this is so weird. but things actually feel good. weird.