potpourri

lots happening in life right now.

work. i've been working a lot at my part time job at rei. i like it. a lot. it's challenging right now because i dont know all of the equipment we sell, but that will come with time. i figure as long as i weather the storm for awhile, that stuff will come. but i like it. and the paycheck, as not huge as it is, is a very nice benefit and will help my unaffordable education/pasadena life become a little less unaffordable.

music. it's weird. i swear off writing music... and then it all flows to me quickly and powerfully. it's happened time and time again. and its happening again. i've been writing a TON of music. i don't know why or for what intention. but i'm writing and that is cathartic and wonderful for me, at least.

social life. i'm still trying to figure out this issue of love... am i really unable to receive or give love to anyone? it would seem so, at least right now. i dont know mean romantic love, i mean any type of love or affection. it seems like the best way to hurt me right now is to compliment me. how backwards is that? i guess i have a lot to sift through. i desire to become a person who can reverse that dynamic, a person who embraces and lives a life of love to all; i'm just not sure how to get there.

hobbies. i've been hiking a lot again. and i want to try bouldering/climbing a lot more. i've been writing a bit. and writing music, as i mentioned. i find that, given where i'm at socially right now, hobbies are a great thing to invest myself in. call it escapism if you want to; i call it self preservation and a way to keep my head on halfway straight right now.

anyways, that's enough vulnerability to show for one night. then again no one reads this so ok. but yep. gnight.