music

between working out nonstop, working, and attending miscellaneous social gatherings, i've been writing boatloads of music. i'm taking a very different approach to writing lately: i'm writing in reverse. i'll record a vocal melody or guitar line and reverse it. and then i'll reverse another line on top of it. its weird. real weird. but i think i'm on to something good.

other things i've been doing lately:
1. still trying to find hope and help for the crap i'm going through. it's hard but in order to live any sort of an adjusted, normal life, i need to go through this. if it doesn't kill me, it'll help me.

2. music i've been listening to nonstop: new david crowder, we were promised jetpacks, and the new decemberists.

3. i really like my job. i work with a lot of people who don't believe the same things i believe (religiously) and i love it. a lot of them dont care to ask questions, but, instead, want to tell me their thoughts about things... and i love that they feel comfortable talking to me about that... and i have the opportunity to fight against their negative experiences with christ followers. its a great invitation and i hold it in deep reverence.

4. i'm obsessed with the wire (tv show). its awesome. just finished s1, onto s2.

5. i've noticed i'm dropping a lot of fat lately. it felt like i was stalled for awhile but the last two weeks, i've noticed a big difference and i can see abdominal muscles. that is fun.

6. i've been rock climbing/wall climbing a lot. i suck at it...but im getting a lot better each time i do it. and i love it. love it love it love it. anything that makes me feel as competitive as that is awesome. good feeling.

7. deep question on my mind lately: why do some people (if not all in certain situations) struggle with accepting love from people? i'm struggling with this concept a lot: i desire to be loved by everyone, but i can't always accept it. and that makes me frustrated. and i don't really understand it.